DMU Staff Development Blog

Five things to do to be assertive

Vincent — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 17:01:48 +0000

Assertiveness is an activity, something you do rather than something you feel. It allows you to be confident and direct when interacting with others without being abrupt, aggressive or passive.

The following five points, used together, will greatly increase your ability to act in an assertive way whenever a situation calls for this type of response.

Maintain or enhance self esteem
Listen and respond with empathy
Ask for help and encourage involvement
Share thoughts, feelings and rationale
Provide support WITHOUT removing responsibility

Imagine points 1 and 5 are bookends, point 1 keeps the interaction away from being aggressive behaviour. Point 5 keeps the interaction from being passive behaviour.

Points 2,3 and 4 are analogous to the three interpersonal ‘books’ on the assertiveness bookshelf; held together by the two bookends 1 and 5.

The five points are known as the ‘key principles’ and are produced courtesy of Development Dimensions International Ltd (DDI)

Voki Vincent!

Vincent — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:30:00 +0000

I am experimenting in this posting with the use of avatar-making software. If it works it gives us another dimension to creating small bits of learning such as interview snapshots etc.
Let’s see how this works!!!!

Get a Voki now!

Do you work ‘in-time’ or ‘through time’?

Vincent — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:28:50 +0000

I have worked with many people on outcomes relating to improving in the way they manage their time. Success in the short term has been positive and widespread; success over the mid to long term however is a different story. Sure, there are some people who, armed with a number of real-world, pragmatic tools, techniques are willing and able to put a strategy into place. For many, even those who really want to improve, the gains – and the will – drain away pretty quickly.

That was… until I started using timeline methodology with people. This tool is taken from Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). It now seems blindingly obvious to me; before, I just managed the blindingly bit!

NLP thinking around time management is based upon the observation that people adopt one of two ways of passing time; either in-time, or through-time. When someone is ‘In time’, they are associated into the experience, absorbed even; this is the state to be in to enjoy the moment. Being in time is to be less likely to be aware of time passing, less likely to plan or stick to a plan and can become side-tracked very easily.

Examples of in-time behaviour include a young person on an X-Box 360 for hours without having any sense of the amount of elapsed time, someone happily following link after link, or google search return one after another; this kind of ‘internet entrapment’ can account for many an hour. Or a child at a zoo, patiently watching a male Gorilla, waiting for it to thump its’ chest. The child, recreating this ‘absorbsion in subsequent enclosures would quickly exhaust the time available and have many experiences from a few things covered.

In time-ers often consider the future to be in a line ahead of them and the past in a line directly behind them, thus they are standing actually on their past/future timeline, hence being known as in-time.

Being ‘through time’ is to be disassociated with the experience; having it laid-out in front of you (for want of a better image). Being through-time is to be conscious of time passing, to be aware of the interaction of events, time to attend a meeting approaching for instance. It is also to be able to plan, and work to a plan, and to multi-task.

In the example of the child at the zoo, a through-time approach would be to be at the Lion enclosure planning where to go next, this being repeated at the reptile house, aviary, hippo enclosure etc, etc, so that by the end of the visit, very little has been experienced in comparison to what’s been co-ordinated.

What questions about in time and through time do you have? What comments can you make?

I will work this topic up further in my next posting.

Welcome to the Blog…

Vincent — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:08:06 +0000

Welcome to the DMU Staff Development Blog. I’m Vincent Cornelius, HR Training and Development Advisor (many of you will know me already!), primary author for this Blog.

The purpose of the Blog is to provide all DMU staff access to tips and hints relating to developing a wide range of your interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. It is also part of the Pathfinder Project, looking at the use web2 technologies can be; in this case within staff development.

I will post a number of ‘initial threads’ for each of the categories over the next few days, after which I will update the Blog on a weekly basis.

You can post your comments and questions and this is a dimension I really am keen to see develop. This way I can ensure postings best meet your needs.

This site will work well providing that the following points of ‘netiquette’ are embraced.

All entries and comments relating to entries are made with both individual and University best interests in mind.
Only suitably and effectively anonymous references to characters in case studies etc to be used.
Entries and comments need to be aimed at prompting and promoting learning and development.
Engaging appropriately in assertive exchanges are in themselves learning opportunities.

I look forward to making many successful postings and engaging in lots of comment exchange.

Regards,